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How To Love YourSelf

How to love yourself

Isn’t it funny that we as human beings find it so hard to love ourselves? To the point where we have to ask; how to love yourself? For a long time, without consciously knowing it, I wasn’t loving myself. If I did, I wouldn’t have “tortured” my body, punished myself for eating almost a whole pizza by myself, or being so hard on myself in general. Self love, especially for those who have any form of disordered eating, body image or exercise addiction, is SO IMPORTANT. Once you learn how to love yourself, you’ll find that it’s so hard to punish yourself, even when that voice inside you tells you to workout extra hard tomorrow.

Do you always put others before yourself?  Say yes when you really mean no? Do you always find something wrong with yourself? Always tell yourself how you wish you had a nicer body, nicer nose, more self confidence and so on? Even when people tell you you’re beautiful or someone tells you they love you, you still can’t seem to love yourself. I honestly think it’s because we’ve never been taught to love ourselves. We’ve always been taught to be there for others, but not really be there for ourselves. We think if we slow down, then others won’t be taken care of. We feel guilty if we spoil ourselves once in awhile, because we “should” be doing something selfless.

Well, we all know that when we put ourselves last, we can’t really give our all to our loved ones. For example, if I don’t take really good care of myself and put myself first, then I can’t be the best wife possible. Once you learn how to love yourself, you’ll actually find, that you can do more for others, without it feeling too overwhelming. Lisa Nichols says it best: “Your job is to fill your own cup so it overflows. Then you can serve others, joyfully, from your saucer”. 

How to love yourself tip 1

Every morning when you get up, look at yourself in the mirror and find 3 things you love/value about yourself. For example: “I love my hair because it makes me feel feminine and sexy”. I love this exercise, because it’s so powerful! If you find this exercise too hard, then start with “I have a body, I am healthy” and so on, instead of saying “I hate my body”. Try this exercise for 30 days and notice what a big difference you’ll feel in just one month!

How to love yourself tip 2

Learn to say NO and set boundaries! Start now, because with practice you’ll only feel more confident and more powerful. Anytime you say yes to something you truly don’t want, you’re giving your power away. Think of something you’ve said yes to this week, that you could cancel. This isn’t selfish! I’ll tell you what’s selfish, in my BONUS tip below. You might feel guilty after the first few NO’s but your body and mind will thank you for them! 

As far as boundaries goes; DON’T try to change people. Instead, change yourself/the situation. For example, if you have someone in your life that always comes to your house unannounced, and you’re sick of it then instead of telling them to just stop coming over, you can tell them “Hey, you can come over these days, and next time you show up unannounced, I will keep my door locked”. Same thing with, let’s say, you don’t like when people curse a lot in front of you. Instead of telling them to stop cursing, you can say something like: “If you keep cursing, I will leave”. Do you see how this way, you’re not trying to change them, but yourself or the situation? When I first learned this one, it was scary but also such a relief at the same time! I didn’t have to try to change people, or hope that they would change! The fact that I could change myself and my own situation was very relieving!

How to love yourself BONUS tip

You know what’s selfish? People pleasing! I know it’s hard to believe, but if you think about it, it’s actually selfish. Because you always please people just to make them like you. Because you’re worried what they’ll think of you. You want to be viewed as perfect, as selfless, as helpful, as genuine and so on. But when you’re always worried about what people think of you, do you see how that’s actually selfish?!

Now I’d love to know;

  1. Which of these tips did you like best and which one(s) do you think will be the hardest to implement and why?

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